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The Book

“Luster” by Raven Leilani is slightly different to the books that I would usually discuss. In fact, this is the second time I’m looking into this narrative, although it’s more through the lens of the character’s journey rather than the overall arc of the story.

This fiction read has an edge to it (which I love). It challenges the readers to confront an uncomfortable narrative through the eyes of the protagonist, in a stylised form of writing. In many ways, the paragraphs are fragmented, stories are incomplete, and reveals little while still giving just enough information for context on her life. Looking closely, the writing represented how our protagonist, Edie, was received by the world; invisible and mostly on the periphery without a true sense of belonging.

I won’t say that this read was necessarily something that I found inspirational, in fact it was a deeply uncomfortable book to read. But I also found it compelling. Not just in the way that the writing was artistically presented, but also how much awareness we can gain through something that’s so psychologically involved. Sometimes what moves us in the right direction is the discomfort we feel when we’re looking at the wrong direction.

There were so many points in the story that really broke my heart for the protagonist. It felt to me that she was so used to the trauma she experienced that it shaped her baseline of understanding. This is what she believed her life amounted to and what she deserved, which left her without many goals for the future. Much of her focus also centered men who, from my point of view, didn’t offer her very much.

Leilani is so good at capturing her character’s experiences and weaving that into the writing. As a reader I felt that I wasn’t just on the outside looking in, but I was actively living through some of the protagonist’s internal processing by having so much remain unfinished and disjointed. It prompted me to question what it means to feel so inadequate that we would allow people to mistreat us.

• Is it a form of regaining control?

• Is it that we simply accept the life that we are given when it’s all too much?

• Is it just that we can become so used to that version of life that we don’t believe that it can be any different?

Photo by Poppie Pack on Unsplash

“I think of how keenly I’ve been wrong. I think of all the gods I have made out of feeble men.” ― Raven Leilani, Luster

Our emotions can be the driver behind our decisions, and when those aren’t balanced, we may find ourselves making decisions that are out of alignment. The book shows us how a person raised without consistent guidance or emotional reflection becomes someone who interprets connection through fragments. Her identity, like the writing in the book itself, is made of unfinished sentences and almost-belongings. It’s not that she doesn’t want wholeness; it’s that she was never taught how to experience it.

I wondered if the character was aware that there are people who experience love and belonging, and that she was allowed to want that experience for herself too. Every individual can and should experience love and belonging. It requires a little more effort and information, of course, especially when we’re not born into an environment that actively teaches and embodies that form of nurturing. However, there are so many ways in which we can become aware of how other people are going through life.

Whether it’s by observing peers, healthy relationship dynamics, or even seeing how people interact online. The resources are there for us when we’re consciously looking for them. Even so much as just acknowledging the distinction can be a point of healing. At the very least, it puts us at the forefront of our healing journey. It may even give us something to look forward too when we’re feeling optimistic.

Choosing to heal doesn’t just make us feel better, but it also gives us the tools we need to eventually grow into the person we intentionally want to become. To experience the version of life that lights us up, not the one that keeps us in a loop of disappointment. Choosing that journey means you have the chance to live the life you want, not just have the life you were [maybe] given.

From the first page, Edie is presented as a woman standing just outside every circle she wishes to enter. She doesn’t quite belong anywhere: not in her childhood home, not among her peers, not at work, and certainly not in the home of the married man she becomes involved with. Her age, her finances, her trauma, and her ethnicity all function as barriers that repeatedly cast her as the “other.” She is so accustomed to existing on the margins that the reader can’t help but hope she will eventually claim a higher standard for herself. But she doesn’t – and that absence of awakening becomes part of the ache of the narrative.

This book was uncomfortable in the most revealing way; it forces you to consider how isolating life can become when no one ever teaches you what you’re allowed to want, what you’re worthy of, or what intimacy should actually feel like. Edie’s repeated lowering of her own standards creates the illusion that meaningless encounters are the closest she can get to intimacy. And in that void, she does what many women raised in scarcity do: she ‘makes a god out of a feeble man’. She elevates someone profoundly undeserving simply because his attention – however limited – momentarily interrupts her invisibility.

Ultimately, reading “Luster” made it painfully clear how important it is to have a community where your presence isn’t questioned, or where you’re fighting to be seen. But you’re loved, accepted and who you are is fully valued and acknowledged for who you are. Without that grounding, it’s too easy to misinterpret crumbs as devotion and to continue placing people on pedestals they never deserved in the first place.

The key message I extracted from the book is that when we grow up without steady mirrors – without people who help us understand our experiences and anchor our worth – we internalize the belief that we deserve very little, and then we behave that way. Our inner belief is shaped by those who disempowered us. Edie is not drawn to chaos for its own sake. She is drawn to intensity because it is the only thing that cuts through her numbness. She confuses volatility with intimacy because her early experiences taught her that support and safety are luxuries, not expectations. And so she keeps reaching for people who give her the bare minimum, because the bare minimum still feels like more than she had.

This book portrays a protagonist who has learned to ‘make gods out of feeble men.’ Putting that into psychological perspective, when you have lived in emotional isolation, even inconsistent affection can feel like devotion. Even a man with nothing truly meaningful to offer can look like a savior simply because he acknowledges you. Edie doesn’t pedestalise these men because he is extraordinary – she pedestalises him because she has been conditioned to see any moment of recognition as a lifeline.

The message of the book is not merely that Edie deserves more, but that many women are taught so early to expect less. So much so that we become fluent in elevating the unworthy. This book asks, with unsettling clarity: what happens to a woman’s life when her hunger, not her standards, becomes the loudest voice guiding her choices? In the end, Edie’s choices only debilitated her self-worth further.

Healing is painful, difficult, and will open our eyes to truths we may not be ready to acknowledge yet. But, it confronts us with the reality we need. In certain cases, it won’t just prevent us from living the reality that we’re currently in, but may even prevent it from becoming worse. Reading Edie’s story, I couldn’t imagine that her experience was helping lift her up. If anything it was reinforcing a narrative that was already keeping her in such a low state. With every relationship, she was not only applying extreme measures to be somewhat seen, but it also cost her psychologically and emotionally.

Edie’s willingness to engage men who are fundamentally beneath the standard she deserves isn’t just about desire – it’s about survival patterns. She gravitates toward men who overestimate themselves because she has been conditioned to underestimate her own worth. These men are feeble, not in strength but in character: men whose self-importance is inflated, who rely on women’s emotional labor to feel substantial. In a world where Edie’s own identity feels fragmented, their false confidence initially looks like certainty. But as she moves through the broken, episodic chaos of the narrative, the truth becomes obvious: the fragmentation mirrors the emotional incoherence of the men she keeps attaching herself to.

The story feels disjointed because Edie herself is disjointed – no smooth arc, no false clarity, only the sharp edges of a woman learning in real time where she’s been selling herself short. Reading this book I want to emphasize that we have the opportunity to identify, acknowledge and grow from these types of thought patterns. If, like Edie, there have been moments where you’ve sold yourself short, it doesn’t have to stay that way. We can reclaim the shine that the word ‘luster’ represents, and instead of projecting it, we can create it for ourselves. We do this by finding our place and belonging. Recognizing that we may not be in full bloom yet, but that we have room to grow and should seek out opportunities that help challenge us in that respect.

Practicing self-awareness can be deeply confrontational at times, but it’s also a necessary aspect of growth. We cannot transform ourselves without coming into contact with the truth. It’s only from that standpoint that we can measure where we are, so that we can develop the steps necessary to determine how to get to where we want to go. Without that awareness, the desire to have better and the willingness to overcome challenges to get there, are simply distat dreams. We may not only find ourselves going in circles, but maybe also developing a baseline that we feel we can’t escape.

At the heart of it, learning to live on your own terms requires us to heal as much as we can. That’s true freedom - when we can make decisions that come from an aligned place, not just survival. Healing helps us establish a healthier baseline for our interactions with ourselves and others, and gives us the tools to be able to understand and acknowledge our emotions. That way, we make decisions that actually serve us in the long run; in terms of where we’d like to go, and how we’d like to get there. We’ll also stop confusing disrespect as a form of intimacy. It challenges our baseline and helps us connect to those that truly respect and love us.

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Importance of Encouragement

In my experience, teachers have always had a massive impact on me and my abilities. From setting higher expectations and showing us how to achieve our goals, it’s clear to me that teachers are the foundation of our society.

As children, we would have spent a significant amount of time with our teachers. From when we were very young to early adulthood this would have been our reality unless we were homeschooled. These are some of the most influential years of our lives. As a result, they set not only a benchmark for the quality of our education but also the quality of our lives. When someone older and more influential sees potential in us, we want to meet their expectations as children.

Sometimes it can follow with resistance on our part, especially if we are not placed in an environment where we are used to being pushed towards our limits. However, when we feel seen as people, it can encourage us to move towards progress. A truly committed teacher can leave an immense impact on our lives that follows us into adulthood.

Recognizing Hidden Potential

Teachers who care, can see us before we do. Whether our performance, intelligence, and attitude are in alignment yet, they witness our potential and can show us how to maximise our strengths and show us where we need to grow. If they are great teachers they will know exactly how to help us push through our disadvantages and help us navigate towards that potential, oftentimes nurturing us into well-balanced adults. 

It takes passion, patience, and understanding to be a great teacher. Someone truly passionate and selfless about nurturing others into their best selves, because that is what they ultimately do. I had a singing coach who saw me past my insecurities and said to me that inside of me was an artist. This was the first time that anyone had ever called me that, despite having taken almost 7 years of vocal lessons at that point. It changed my life just because it felt like someone saw me. By helping me shift my perception, I felt moved to push forward and hone in on the skills that I was working on even more. I’d also like to mention that I wasn’t the only student of hers who was thriving. All her students were phenomenal singers, because she knew how to target and help them work on their specific areas that needed attention.

Those words and her lessons were carried through me far beyond the years that she was teaching me. She didn’t only nurture my vocal skills, but she gave me the confidence to expand into other territory with the belief that I could overcome so long as I was open to learning. I studied art in other mediums and found that my passions expanded beyond music. Her trust in me helped me trust myself. This was of course a result of many other lessons that she taught me, but those lessons will never be forgotten. It goes to show how much of a psychological impact great teachers have on us.

Building Character and Discipline

Character building and skills come with discipline. Sometimes practising those skills can be very confrontational because we don’t always achieve the result that we’re working towards. This can be relevant in sports, music, academics, relationships and every other aspect of life you can think of. The reality is that in the game of achievement, sometimes you win and other times you lose. These are difficult lessons to learn at any age, but I would encourage everyone to learn them as soon as possible. Holding yourself back from fully engaging in life because you’re scared will leave you riddled with regret at some point in time. You never lose from trying - maybe you don’t get to your goal, but you certainly come out with discipline, work ethic, mental agility, patience and grit. Your character builds, your skills increase/ refine, and your attitude is reshaped.

What makes it so beneficial to have passionate teachers behind us, is that they can help support us through those difficult times by helping us re-focus. It depends on their approach, but many times they can give us the wake-up call we need; which is that we are not owed anything. Our results are a representation of our commitment to discipline, and our attitude is a representation of how we choose to overcome adversity. Just because we didn’t reach our goals this time, does not mean that our work is lost or that it won’t ever happen. Results are confrontational, but they are a measuring tool to help us navigate our way forward. Part of the challenge is to perceive it as such, so that we can use it as a tool to our advantage.

Perseverance is a key attribute to overcoming hardship. Although we can achieve this alone, there is no greater feeling than having a peer, teacher, or a mentor with us to help us find our way while we’re working towards our goals. The levels of effectiveness increase overall because there is someone there with us. They help us take responsibility and remind us to continue on our journey despite the setbacks because, as mentioned before, sometimes they see our potential before we do.

Overcoming Adversity with Support

Support systems are essential if you want to progress forward. This isn’t always easy because we don’t all have the same starting points in our lives. Many of us will see others having opportunities that may not be available to us individually, but that shouldn’t discourage us from making our way forward. So it’s important to know where you want to go so that you may find the people who can help you navigate the right path. This may include teachers, mentors, family, or even friends. 

Adversity will occur regardless of our starting points. Although it may not necessarily seem that way, there’s a saying that covers this very well, “New levels, new devils.” So seek out those who can help you from where you are. If you want quality advice, you’ll need to have a teacher that not only sees your potential, but understands your challenges thoroughly. How you integrate constructive criticism is important, but not all criticism is relevant. Be cautious of those who want to advise because it makes them feel important. They’ll most likely give unhelpful and irrelevant advice. The point is to move forward in the right direction, not waste time. A passionate teachers looks at your challenges and helps you refine your skills through steps that are relevant to your personal areas that need attention. This is where our discernment comes in. Our environment plays a huge role in what we determine is possible, so try to seek the people you’re looking for. Sometimes our teachers don’t find us, but we find them. 

Achieving success is difficult because oftentimes we can experience setbacks, rejection, loss or heartbreak. With every kind of adversity, we are growing up, learning, and overcoming difficulty. We could not have those lessons, or even value our success, without taking those hits. But we don’t have to do it alone. Having someone there to guide you through the motions is so valuable to have in your life. Without them, it might take us so much longer, be a means of giving up, or even prevent us from trying at all. Don’t do it alone if you don’t have to; find your people. 

Conclusion

Growth happens at different rates for all of us. It is of no use to compare ourselves to others because we haven’t all lived the same lives and have had the opportunity to learn the same lessons. But when you find someone who sees something in you, it is such a blessing to experience. Our teachers can help us overcome so much, and help us take the responsibility it requires to move through to the next level. Those lessons when well implemented, can not only stay with us for the rest of our lives but can impact other facets of our lives as well.

Teachers who are passionate and energised to nurture their student’s potential are people who know how to activate the sparks within us that show us what’s possible. They can help us develop our strengths, acknowledge our weaknesses, and keep us on track towards our goals. This also helps us develop into better human beings overall. These lessons don’t ever just apply to one area of our life but are skills that we can carry over into the other facets of our world too. The more we are encouraged to be better, we will keep doing better. If we are just as energised as they are, then we will change the world. 

Finding the right teachers is important in life, but being generous with our knowledge is also important to the world. We have the power to empower one another and create an overall better world altogether. Although some of us may not qualify as a teacher, when we see someone that we can help because perhaps we see something in them that’s worth nurturing, perhaps that’s an opportunity for us to send the elevator back down. All people, when they are acknowledged, valued, and heard, will provide value in some form or another to our world. Sometimes it just takes the right person to activate it. 

Thank you so much for reading this far! If you’ve enjoyed reading Spark Siren and you would like to receive weekly emails, remember to subscribe below.

Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.

Keep living life on your terms.

June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

“Luster” by Raven Leilani is a bold, incisive novel that confronts the reader with the discomfort of seeing a young woman try to make a life out of scraps. Themes such as numbness, race, power dynamics, male dominance, belonging, and sexuality intersect to reveal the interior world of a protagonist who is endlessly positioned as peripheral—someone who must fight to be seen in a world determined to render her invisible.

From the first page, Edie is presented as a woman standing just outside every circle she wishes to enter. She doesn’t quite belong anywhere: not in her childhood home, not among her peers, not at work, and certainly not in the home of the married man she becomes involved with. Her age, her finances, her trauma, and her Blackness all function as barriers that repeatedly cast her as the “other.” She is so accustomed to existing on the margins that the reader can’t help but hope she will eventually claim a higher standar…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Serendipity can be described as encountering the right moments or connections by coincidence. However, “The Collision Code” discusses how we can not only believe and be open to those moments, but also put ourselves in a position to increase our chances of encountering them. It’s partly luck, but also partly about putting yourself in a position to receive that luck.

Reading this book reminded me of a mindset I used to embody a lot more, especially in my early twenties. It was almost like an embodied belief that I had and really worked in my favour. But overtime I lost that spark a little due to varying circumstances, and reading this book reminded me of how important those beliefs really are. Not just your hopes and desires, but also your well-being. Believing that good things are on the way, that you can set out to achieve something and put yourself in positions for alignment is an important mindset to have. Rather than having life happen to you, you’re an active participant in creatig your own destiny.

I came across this book in an almost serendipitous way - the author and I happen to be at the same book club event. I’m ashamed to say I rarely go to it, but this time it felt natural to make my way. He was looking for a few people to read his book for a review, and luckily I was one of the few he kindly gave one to. Even a brief interaction with James gave me the sense there was more to look forward to, without having read the book yet. There’s something to be said about people and the energy they give off, and reading this book just cemented that hope and magic within me a little more after that meeting.

In this email we’ll cover:

• What’s New

• Reflections

• Insights

• Closing Remarks

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Book of the Week:

The Collision Code by James Eder

Personal Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Genre:

Autobiographical

Synopsis:

“The Collision Code” expresses the importance and magic of human connection. The author delves into moments where he’s consistently experienced serendipity, simply by being in the right places at the right time. But he also goes on to explaining that while these moments feel like chance encounters, it is also a result of making strong connections with people while actively putting yourself in the right places to meet them.

Eder takes his knowledge of what he’s learnt on his journey and encourages his readers to explore the possibilties around them too. His genuine interest in human connection is the foundation for his relationships and serendipitous moments. He not only is open to them, but sets out to make them happen, and comes from a sincere place.

There’s not only magic inn those moments but also the approach that creates that lasting impression.

Why We Love It:

Eder’s work is not only informative but shares inspirational moments-turned-advice for those of us who are looking for a little bit of magic in our own world. His story is a reminder that in the unpredictability of life, there is also so much to look forward to with a little bit of risk and human connection. There are moments to be created and connections to be made, because that’s what makes life worthwhile.

He gives his practical guidance, but reading his own story it becomes more of an insight into how that guidance can turn into a fulfilling life. So much of life’s opportunities and excitement is generated through our interactions with others. Whether we’d like to admit it or not, people are inter-dependent on each other. How we connect with one another can be a defining factor into how we evolve and where a sigificant part of our life trajectory is headed.

The author’s take on personal and professional success is rooted in his love for building human connections, whether new or building on the connections he’s made with people from years ago. It’s led to moments of serendipity, but is also a result of simply being engaged and itentional with how you approach your relationships. It’s important to note that the foundation of those interactions are rooted in sincerity - that’s an important distinction.

Key Message:

Moments can be turned into magic. When the right intentions and approach are incorporated, there are so many opportunities and doors that can open for you. You would think that perhaps someone is just lucky, but the author makes it clear that it’s potentially a bit of both luck and active engagement. Active engagement leads to possibilities and opportunities when we’re open to finding them. It simply might take a bit of courage and the willingness to move outside of your comfort zone.

The key message that I took away from this read was that you can be the creator of your own reality to some extent. You may not always be in complete control of the circumstances you’re given, but you can position yourself to live a full life by engaging in the world around you with intention. I do want to emphasise that your intentions for connection are important. Nobody wants to be approached consistently by people with parasitic intentions, however if you approach with a genuine interest in building connections, it opens up possibilities relationally.

The framework this book offers is one that many of us will need, or at the very least serves as a good reminder of how vital human conection is to our social conditioning. People at the end of the day are social people, as Eder mentions in the book, “that is how society is created.” Especially in a far leaning digital age, it’s a important reminder of what’s possible beyond the screen and sometimes our opportunities for connection and evolutionn are already in our vicinity, beyond the screen.

Quote of the Week:

“I have a simple philosophy: the Collision Code. The more we connect with each other, the more good things we can make happen, together. Or, to put it i the terms we’ve been using, the more we collide, the better it gets.”

- James Eder, The Collision Code

Reflection Questions:

1. How much of the author’s journey resonated with your own life experiences?

2. What decisions that the author made did you find empowering or thought-provoking?

3. What aspects of the framework did you find achievable?

4. Did this book position our mindset to pursue connections in a more direct and personal way?

5. What are you hoping to accomplish now that you have additional tools to utilise from this read?

Books The Author Recommends:

• The Naked Leader by David Taylor

• The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle

• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

Author Spotlight:

James Eder

Background:

James Eder is a published author, a speaker and the co-founder of Studenbeans. This book is a reflection on how he has always approached relationships, opportunities and business, which is placing importance and emphasis on human connection.

Beyond the Book:

You can find more about him on his website here.

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“The Collision Code” is a reminder that human connection is the basis for our sense of fulfilment, both professionally and personally. Although much of it is autobiographical, there is also the added practical guidace that shows readers that this isn’t just a case of luck, but that we also have the power to cultivate those moments for ourselves by being open and stepping outside of our comfort zones.

Although there is so much that is outside of our control, how we approach and choose to engage with our environment can out us on a far greater trajectory than tha we perhaps perceive for ourselves at this current time. Life has the potential to be magical. It has the potential to be electric. When we fully engage and immerse ourselves in that mindset and action, there are so many opportunities for connection and momentum that could be made clear for us.

The book is a reminder to become more comfortable with what might currently be uncomfortable. Place yourself in new territory with genuine intentions. Perhaps not everyone will respond in the way that we hope they will, but there will be people that do. The goal is to build connections and thrive within them. We were designed to connect, to engage and to create. Perhaps being in alignment requires us to position ourselves first by taking those initial steps. Without at least trying, we won’t fully know.

Thank you so much for reading this far! If you’ve enjoyed reading Spark Siren and you would like to receive weekly emails, remember to subscribe below.

Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.

Keep living life on your terms.

June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren

Subscribe now

Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Mythology is such a fantastic way to engage with our connection to story and our roots. The Divine Feminine for many centuries was deeply embedded in our religious practice. Many cultures and countries worshipped the Mother Goddess, until we moved into a more patriarchal society, where much of those rituals, teachings and forms of religious worship were buried. Thankfully, not everything was completely lost. Books such as When God Was A Woman by Merlin Stone and The Red Tent by Anita Diamant, acknowledge and discuss the diverse religious practices.

Of all the myths on gods and goddesses I’ve found that Hekate has managed to remain quite mysterious, as is her domain. The details of her becoming and journey had remained somewhat of a mystery to me until I read this book. I know that in many works of art, poems, books, and stories, there are clues of her presence. As we’ve said, mystery and moving through the in-between spaces, is her…

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Introduction

Someone had asked me this past year why I had pursued the arts. The answer seemed simple in my mind, but when I answered directly it sounded more deep than I realised. I answered, “It makes me feel the most connected.” In truth, there is more depth to my connection, but I couldn’t find the right words at the time. The sentiment was beautifully worded in Sinead O’Connor’s book, Rememberings: “To meet God you have to make your dreams come true.”

Creating doesn’t just make me feel alive, it lights my spirit up. Although I don’t practice religion, the art of creating feels like a close comparison to me. If I had to compare my creative practice to a form of spirituality, I would say that I’m open enough to receive guidance (ideas) and be willing enough to follow through on that guidance (create). Although manifesting ideas into reality could be considered my form of spiritual practice, I will say that in these last few years, God has made an unexpected appearance in my life.

It happened at a time when I couldn’t find the strength to act on what I needed to do. Even though I knew how to overcome challenges, at this time I felt a deeper spiritual lack. It was the first time in a while since I’d prayed out of desperation. Unexpectedly, I felt an overwhelming sense of connection and love come through. Although it may be hard to imagine as you read this, the message was so clear to me. It felt like a deeper knowing had instilled itself and I found the strength I needed to act. My prayers were heard — I haven’t had to question whether or not God existed since then.

The Divine Connection in Authenticity

I recently read Sinead O’Connor’s memoir and it left me reflecting on it for days. The book evoked a range of emotions in me; throughout every chapter, I could sense the depths of her belief in the Holy Spirit and the sincerity with which she writes. I knew that somewhere along the line I understood what she was talking about. It led me to believe that perhaps more people feel deeply connected to what brings them joy. Perhaps we’re all called to something deeper that provokes the light and authenticity out of us.

O’Connor’s life was lived through a spiritual lens. She has always felt strongly about her connection to God, which is evident in the way she writes. Throughout all her experiences she never forgets to mention her faith in the Holy Spirit, whether they were joyous or challenging. I get the sense that it was her spirituality that maintained her sense of alignment and helped her stay grounded. Although many of her decisions caused commotion along the way, I think that being aligned with your purpose does that. When you are living authentically, it subconsciously affects others who are not.

Regardless of the consequences she stood in the knowing of who she was as well as her moral ethics. She moved through life in the way she felt was right, as a young woman no less. Sometimes I wonder if she was the catalyst we needed to open our eyes to a bigger agenda happening behind the scenes or if she was living before her time. Her intentions were always pure, from what I can decipher, so the backlash she ultimately received seems undeserving. She has both a softness and a ferocity that’s difficult to ignore. It felt as though it was rooted in a deeper place.

Finding The Strength to Grow

I watched a few old interviews with O’Connor out of curiosity, and I was so impressed with her poise and the depth she provided in her responses. Her maturity shone through while simultaneously having a youthful drive. It was just evident to me that she was living fully and unapologetically. I started to question whether maturity is linked to age, or whether experience and alignment were the true contributors to growth. She seemed to be both already.

Strength isn’t always packaged in the way that we might think it is. Even O’Connor’s voice may suggest her to be more soft-spoken and shy. Yet, when she spoke it was so clear that she knew who she was as a person, what she stood for, and that she maintained her conviction all throughout. It’s not every day that you see a young person, let alone a young woman, stand in her power so effortlessly. Regardless of the response, she had an immovable stance. Her strength came from what I believe to be her willingness to overcome her hardships and maintain the right perception to move forward.

Strength doesn’t have to come to us naturally. It’s a muscle that can be developed over time, especially when we’re willing to overcome adversity. I would say that we can even root our strength in our beliefs, such as I did. Perhaps when it is coming from a place of meaning it is more easily accessible. Even more so, perhaps we feel a responsibility towards it. I think O’Connor’s strength was rooted in both. She had a purpose and was bold enough to respond to it. That, alongside her faith in the Holy Spirit, made me believe that for a time she was untouchable.

Fulfilling Dreams

I believe that what calls to us has the potential to become a divine purpose. Not an interest, but a true calling; something that truly lights us up when participating. It’s not only about doing things that make us feel alive but about learning more about ourselves and the world around us through our purpose. It’s about actively participating in our lives so that we can make discoveries. When we’re lucky enough to find who we are, wouldn’t it be such an experience to allow ourselves to lean into it?

Dreams could easily become goals when we add a deadline and create a plan. Perhaps the execution is the most intimidating, but that’s where the growth is. I think the reason we associate ideas with being ‘dreams’ is because they may seem inaccessible to us or those around us. As I’ve witnessed the world, too many of us let our thoughts and inhibitions hinder us from allowing our true selves to emerge. Yet if we all became more open to the idea, it could help direct us into a much more fulfilling place.

Trial and error can help us navigate our lives more effectively. You may even find that what you thought was calling you isn’t the right fit, but we wouldn’t know if we didn’t try. However I’ve found that when you find it, it never leaves your mind. To be so connected to not only who you are, but also to an outside power that feels like a guiding force towards your most authentic self is not a feeling you quickly forget. It’s a greater sense of clarity that perhaps wasn’t there before.

Conclusion

My interpretation of this read is as follows: if you remain authentic in your purpose, God will show you the way. True alignment isn’t necessarily about following what we think we must do according to others, but what we sense is the right thing to do. Knowing that we have an inner compass and trusting its direction can help us gain greater clarity about ourselves and those around us.

By trusting that guidance, we’re permitting ourselves to align with our true selves, with the Universe/ God, and thus deepening our spiritual connection overall. Trusting that we know who we are is hard, especially when others project their expectations or limitations onto us. However, when we’re truly aligned, very few people can deter us from that path. Sometimes our true alignment is located outside of other people’s comfort zones. But perhaps that’s because what is meant for us is not meant for them. We are all different and we all have our own contributions to make.

Throughout the book, I could feel God emanating from the pages. Sinead O’Connor was very much connected to spirit by being authentically connected with her true self. I could immediately sense how prominent that was for her. Even just listening to her interviews there was a presence in her that seemed divine. I don’t think it was either rooted in spirit or rooted in her alignment; I think it was the combination of both that manifested through her. By pursuing her calling she could become the most alive version of herself. She was honouring life by participating in it and giving it meaning.

Perhaps it’s true. Living in alignment is an invitation to meet God.

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Butter by Asako Yuzuki brings a fresh and delicate descriptive tone to food. Beyond the story, the book captivates you within the first few pages just by the quality of the writing. Although most of my own experience with food has had to do with consuming it, this book brings in a satisfactory element from a different angle. The read itself is very enjoyable. The quality of the writing ennvelops you into the pages right away, and whether or not you love a murder mystery, if you love quality writing, then this work will captivate you regardless.

For readers that are looking to immerse themselves visually into a story, this book is a fantastic option to look into. The book is highly recommended online and for good reason. This is a classic case of, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” moment, becasue has I not read up on the awards that it had received, I probably wouldn’t have picke up this book myself. Reading “Butter,” I came to real…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Introduction:

The summer heat is in full effect here in the UK, and that includes romance. My last few years of living here in this lovely country has taught me that summer is prime time to meet new people, date and explore the city to the fullest. It’s the time when the sun is shining, our skin is glowing and the chances of meeting someone is at an all time high.

Many of us are looking for healthy and secure relationships in today’s dating world, especially around my age (30+). However I often wonder if there are perhaps aspects of ourselves that we could improve in the process, before we meet that special person. So I thought that it’s probably quite important to be able to identify what our strengths and areas of improvement we can focus on in our own emotional behaviour too.

For us to foster a healthy dynamic, we should not only aim to find someone of that caliber, but embody those traits that we so much desire in another too. That sort of healthy dynamic is both emotionally mature and empathetic. It’s the sort of dynamic where when we can do our best to grow and mature through our challenges, it gives the other person permission to do the same.

Emotional maturity alongside empathy are both key factors to maintaining a healthy relationship, and it’s important that both (or all) people involved are actively doing their best to show up in that way. However, it’s a rare find in today’s world of instant gratification. I think it’s harder for some of us to give people grace or even appreciate the effort that they’re putting in as a result.

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Firstly, understanding what you have to offer in a relationship is crucial for building healthy and fulfilling connections. It gives you insight into who you are and what you’re looking for. In addition, we can only meet people emotionally at our own psychological level. So to see ourselves and someone else clearly, we should take the time to align our thoughts and views. Meeting someone halfway is about developing a healthy perception, as wel as being willing to see from another person’s perspective in addition to that.

Self-awareness is equally as important as the awareness of others. Knowing who we are gives us better understanding on what we have to offer and what we want. It helps us define what we are contributing, as well as helps us understand when someone else is putting forward that effort forward too. However, it involves honestly assessing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to gain insight and promote our personal growth. It may also require listening to our partner’s perception on how they believe our behaviour affects others (a-hem, I object!).

Showing up with an open mindset and the desire to meet the other person halfway can even encourage more peace and co-operation between each other. Even as a single person, we can start that process by reflecting on our past relationships and interactions. Reflecting on our previous choices and their consequences can be confrontational, but it gives us the opportunity to gain valuable insights into our decision-making processes. This sense of accountability helps us redirect our energy and inform our future choices regarding our own behaviour and our choice of partner.

Reflecting back honestly can be difficult. However, it will equip us with a new sense of resilience and clarify the opportunities for growth.

As we become more attuned to our emotions and their origins, we can navigate social interactions with greater empathy and understanding too. By recognizing our own patterns and triggers, we can communicate more effectively and avoid provoking sensitive areas in our relationships. Forgiveness for our own shortcomings and areas for growth, instill patience for the growth in others too. We’re ultimately fostering deeper connections with our partners through presence and patience. Being present and showing care take us so much further when we’re with the right people.

A healthy relationship will require us to fully invest not just in the development of the partnership, but will many times ask us to look to ourselves and be accountable too. Relationships are an amazing mirror that can indicate to us where our areas of improvement might be, and really give us the chance to learn about the different aspects of each other in a new light. It’s also important to note that, yes, our mindset is important. But the way our partner shows up counts too. If a partner shows up with the level of empathy that we hope they do, those mistakes we make from time to time will seem less personal. It will genuinely feel like an opportunity to learn and grow. Mistakes happen.

Self-awareness can also lead to incorporating more intentionality. When we are aware of our own wants and needs, our intentions become more clear. In that same regard, understanding where our efforts are not coming across as we intend, can also help us better navigate our way forward. A partner that meets us halfway can be a wonderful anchor that helps us with our sense of direction. Even as a single person, being open to learning about ourselves through our other relationships can be incredibly insightful. You get to curate the person you want to be and curate the type of person you would like to meet. Intentionality sets the tone for desire and alignment.

In case you need a reminder, there’s nothing more attractive in a partner than someone that is actively choosing you.

Show up in the way you would expect a partner to. It’s easy to demand a standard from someone else, but could we honestly say that we are all meeting our own emotional needs too? Embodying the qualities and behaviors we desire in a romantic connection can directly communicate through action what we expect in another. Emotional maturity is an essential trait to grasp, in that regard.

Set that positive example so that the right person knows how to recognise and appreciate you. I think that trying to prove or perform your way into someone else’s heart can only lead to personal disappointment. There is no point in relinquishing your sovereingty over to someone that has no intention of meeting you halfway. At least not in my own personal experience.

My take on this is: attract what you are. Become your best version so that you can meet someone truly phenomenal, just as you are someone phenomenal. When we’re actively working on ourselves, our potential to match with our dream person is likely to happen far more quickly and the results are all the more fulfilling. Creating a standard of behaviour for ourselves, will result in us hopefully not expecting any less from anyone else. It’s in the knowing of how much it took us to develop into a confident and complete person, that our standard rises for the other as well.

Consistency is ultimately the key to learning about ourselves, about others, as well as how to meet them where they are. To genuinely tap into the frequency we are looking for, it needs to become apart of who we are too. Can we consistently meet those standards that we’ve set for another? Often times, this involves being reliable, dependable, and forthcoming. Consistency builds trust and creates a sense of security in the relationship, and overall creates a stable foundation for the partnership to thrive. Better yet, are we consistent with ourselves? Do we keep promises to ourselves?

Understanding what we bring to a relationship is a journey of self-discovery and growth. By looking inward and recognizing our strengths, we set the stage for healthier, more fulfilling connections. This self-awareness allows us to show up as our best self, nurture our partner, and build a strong foundation of trust and commitment. If we establish that foundation, I believe that our relationships can set us up to learn even far beyond that.

Reliability is a key factor in showing what we have to offer in a relationship too. Simple adjustments such as following through on your promises and commitments make a huge impact. Sometimes being a great partner can mean simply being reliable. Presence, patience and consistency are all valuable traits, even if we don’t believe that we’re at our ‘best selves’ yet. Showing up with those traits alone make us standout people, especially in a world of instant gratification. Consistency builds an immense sense of security and trust in the relationship.

In the end, what we offer in a relationship is uniquely ours. It’s shaped by our experiences, values, and the effort we put into personal growth and in the commitment we show to our partners. By continuously working on ourselves and striving to be the partner we’d want to have, we create the potential for deep, lasting partnerships. Really, the most valuable gift we can give in any relationship is our authentic, evolving self.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal.

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I’m in my late twenties, and feel as though I’ve reconstructed my life several times over. I’m constantly starting over again; whether it’s my environment, my country, my friendship circles, and my relationships. In some situations I’ve enjoyed the creative aspect of it, and it feels empowering to own my decisions and but lately it seems as though time is running out and the version of me that should be settled should have been established by now.

The challenges most show up when I’m comparing myself to others; a habit I should definitely break out of, but also something I just can’t help but do at this stage. All my peers are either engaged, married, or having babies, and as of recently that couldn’t seem farther out of reach for me. I would love to have those things, but it needs to be under the right circumstances. Not perfect, but it has to be mutually respectful and loving at the very least.

I need a change, and for those of you who can relate, you might find this book as helpful as I did. My outlook is not serving me at this time; and the best thing to do in that circumstance is to read and gain perspective, in my opinion. Although I can’t make immediate adjustments to my circumstances, I can control how I approach life, which is where the book, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, comes in.

“The Four Agreements” has been in my “to be read” pile for a few years, and although I went into this read blind, I realised after having read it how helpful it can be. Although it’s approach is quite general, it’s the kind of advice that would improve your life on all fronts by encouraging us to incorporate those positive habits to become a better person.

So in honor of sharing the wisdom in these pages, here is a breakdown of the agreements":

The Agreements:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

4. Always Do Your Best

Just by reading it, it seems simple, but these habits are a daily practice. It’s about consistently incorporating these on a daily basis to improve that forward movement. Not only are these amazing habits to incorporate, but I would imagine that these principles when practiced also restore a sense of confidence in oneself. Although we can’t control the way other people behave and treat us, we can definitely control how we behave ourselves. Approaching life with a sense of integrity and accountability forms part of our character, and character is not something that anybody can take away from us.

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Being Impeccable With Your Word

The concept of adjusting our language to improve our lives may be somewhat of a foreign concept to some, but I like to see it as this quote that I’ve found some time ago, “Our thoughts become our word, our word becomes our actions, and our actions become who we are.” I can’t remember who came up with it, but I couldn’t agree more. The starting point of our journey to living better, is really as simple as promising ourselves that we will speak with intention and love. Not just to other people, but to ourselves as well. The idea of karma is very much present in this chapter; what you put out will come back. But also present, is this idea of speaking with the intention to speak on a frequency that promotes progression. Being impeccable with your word is an underestimated life skill, and one I hope I am already practicing.

Every human is an artist. The dream of your life is to make beautiful art.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

People act out of themselves and where they currently are in their lives. When people speak and act, it is mostly a reflection of themselves rather than you. Knowing this, it is easier to maintain a stance whereby you don’t take anything personally, however, it comes at the price of being self-aware. The book touches on knowing yourself fully to help prevent taking things personally; when you know and accept yourself completely, there is nothing that anyone can say that could hurt you. This self-awareness is completely necessary to build that relationship with yourself. You have to do the work where you’re confronted with who you are. It will be very difficult for others to impact you with their words after that; you will know if they are wrong, and if they are right, you have already done the work to understanding and accepting yourself. This agreement requires courage, strength, and ever more, forgiveness for yourself and that of others.

But it is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself. There is no way I can take this personally

Don’t Make Assumptions

Assumptions are dangerous; it is much better to ask all the questions to get all the facts you may need before drawing any conclusions. Expression is important, but clarity and thinking critically is even more so, I would think. The world is filled with opinions that are shared on a daily basis, and clarity is often lost in the process of all that sharing. Our assumptions are dangerous in that it can direct us away from truth, and cause us to hurt others in the process. Being able to communicate in a clear and compassionate way doesn’t only show off your diplomacy skills, but also displays a diligent and respectful approach to problem solving. Clear and effective communication effectively helps to avoid unnecessary drama. Making assumptions can only leave you feeling embarrassed if you’ve mixed up your facts, and leaves room to question your integrity.

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.

Always Do Your Best

This one is the most important as Ruiz reminds us that no day is guaranteed. We don’t know how long we have left to live, and to really feel as though we have made the most of our time here is to contribute to our lives by doing our best. In my opinion, it is alright to make mistakes so long as our intention was to continually progress to be better. Not only is it alright to make mistakes, but to consistently exert effort into our lives will align us with the kind of progress that not many people get to experience just because we’ve decided to make that a habit in our lives. Continually doing our best, puts us in touch with ourselves to the highest degree. We will never regret giving our all to any situation; in fact, it is very much the opposite. Living with regret is often stemmed in the realization that we could have done more. Life is a gift, so make the most out of it however you can.

God is life. God is life in action. The best way to say, “I love you, God,” is to live your life doing your best. The best way to say, “Thank you, God,” is by letting go of the past and living in the present moment.

Thank you so much for reading this far! If you’ve enjoyed reading Spark Siren and you would like to share this publication with your friends, then click the “Share” button below.

Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.

Keep living life on your terms.

Warm regards,

June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Natasha Lunn’s Conversations on Love is a thoughtful exploration of how love shapes our lives—not just in romantic relationships, but in friendships, family bonds, and self-acceptance. Through insightful conversations with writers, psychologists, and thinkers, Lunn examines how we seek, nurture, and sometimes lose love, offering reflections that encourage deeper self-awareness.

One passage that stood out to me was:

“In my earliest efforts at love, imagination was a thief that stole truth and perspective.”

This encapsulates one of the book’s central themes: the ways we sometimes project our desires onto relationships rather than seeing them for what they truly are. Lunn’s writing encourages readers to examine love with honesty, helping them develop the language to better understand their own relationships and emotional landscapes.

What makes this book especially compelling is its balance of personal storytelling, psychological insight, …

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

All The Lovers In The Night by Mieko Kawakami is a story of a woman in her mid-thirties that is very much existing in her world. Not only does she have trouble establishing and maintaining personal relationships, but she’s also operating in her comfort zone. Although she works well professionally, a big aspect of her life is not yet established, and that seems to be the reason for her lack of fulfillment. As I did my research a little bit, it started to make sense that the point of view of the protagonist could be from the lens of someone neuro-divergent.

There were many times where I wondered throughout this book why our protagonist couldn’t seem to make meaningful connections for herself. Although she is existing quite comfortably, there were times when I wondered if she was actually living the kind of life that she would want to have. She does push herself to be more integrated in society over time, but it makes her so uncomforta…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Cleopatra and Frankenstein is my favourite book of the year so far. What a read. Coco Mellors completely exceeded my expectations and took me on a journey of love, loss, self-expression, healing and ultimately self-discovery through her characters. I felt completely immersed in her story; the beautiful writing, dynamic dialogue, and overall character growth all contributing towards that result.

There’s so much to takeaway from this book, but also so much to enjoy. Although the context of the story isn’t overly joyous, I felt that plot, characters, themes and relationships were all expressed from a realistic place. The story has so much depth to it; it provokes thought, empathy, and looks at life within the context of its true complexities.

Cleo, for example, is such a complex but relatable character. Perhaps not relatable regarding her circumstances, but relatable in the sense that she’s a young woman trying to understand and grasp…

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Lynne Tillman’s “American Genius” is everywhere lately. Every book store that I’ve visited since perhaps the end of last year has it on display. As it would, it prompted me to do a bit of research on the author as well as the books she’d written. Weird Fucks stood out to me, and I wanted to explore what this book was all about especially since the title is so provocative. There were plenty of questions I had regarding intimacy and this book, although it doesn’t necessarily suggest any answers, it does put a big focus on the superficiality that some relationships can actualize.

The title, although provocative, touches on a conversation that for many can be unfamiliar. To write so openly on a taboo topic such as sex, and to describe it in such a blunt way, had me highly invested as a reader. I was curious to know where the conversation would lead. How many of us have had strange sexual encounters, but perhaps felt limited as to what …

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New Animal by Ella Baxter is an interesting book that I came across via social media. It’s a book that I normally wouldn’t have picked up unless it was recommended to me, which in some way it was. After seeing several reviews on TikTok, I decided to purchase the audio book and listen to discover what the hype was about. Looking back, however, I think that reading the book would be a better experience of this read rather than listening to the audio book.

Although I would give the book ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ , I do believe that there is a message to take away from this. Having had my own struggles with acknowledging my emotions when I was younger, I felt for this character. I suppose the plot does include some extreme scenarios that our protagonist finds herself in, however, it all leads her to eventually break down a little more before she can finally open up.

Amelia is a character that is very disengaged from her emotional life, whether it be ro…

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After having read Adults by Emma Jane Unsworth, Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter seemed like a great successor to tie up some of the common themes. Societal expectations affect all of us, regardless of culture. Although many societies differ from one another in terms of culture and expectations, we can still determine that they impact us on an individual level. In our protagonist’s case, it’s her corporate work life that has impacted her the most.

Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter describes what Cassie’s life looks like within Western societal standards and how she feels about the overall impact of it on her life. Although there are several aspects of her life that are highlighted in the book, it ultimately all comes together in what looks like an existential crisis. In the story, Cassie describes the pressure as a lingering black hole that feeds off of her unhappiness and depression. The story starts to introduce us to all the scenarios and circu…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

After last week’s book, I wanted to look into the similar themes that could be found in a fiction read. It’s an opportunity to look from two different perspectives - both literal and descriptive - that can really enhance our understanding overall. Adults by Emma Jane Unsworth couldn’t have been a more fitting book to see relationships through the perspective of the 21st century. In addition, this book is completely hilarious.

Social media has impacted us on quite a deep level when we look into it. Since the concept of the internet and social media is fairly new, there is little understanding yet of how it how much it psychologically demands over time. However, we’re slowly seeing the results of how our technology shifts our overall makeup and social dynamics. Jenny, our protagonist, experiences these challenges herself making this a story that gives readers a chance to tap into their empathy.

In Jenny’s world, social media fuels the…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Critical thinking has always been on the forefront of my priorities as somebody that likes to understand the world. However I should emphasise that in the times we are living in now, it should be at the forefront of everyone’s priorities, in my opinion. There is so much information being thrown around, masked often as fact, that if we are not being vigilant we could ultimately pay the price for it. The Age of Magical Overthinking presents several cognitive biases that may be affecting us so long as we’re not aware.

Navigating through the world with a clear idea of your circumstances can ultimately shift the trajectory of our life. If we all participate, then we might see greater shifts overall. However, it’s important to firstly understand how our brains may be interpreting the information around us. Secondly, developing the skills to understand with clarity what our perceptions are telling us would help further along that objectiv…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Sinead O’Connor has a powerful story in which she shares her autobiography through the lens of spirituality. She acknowledges the Holy Spirit as more of a guide that helps her commit to her moral ethics, which test her along the path to celebrity. Although her book touches on several parts of her life, her desire for social justice and the protection of children remains consistent in this book. She places incredible value and insight on the subject, which ultimately cost her her path to stardom.

I’ve always believed that there is a strong degree of spirituality linked to creative endeavors, personally. So this book resonated with me in a way that I could understand. But perhaps creativity is not necessarily a skill you emphasize in your day-to-day life, so this book may not always make sense. But from my point of view, to be creative is to receive ideas and concepts from a source. That then requires us to be in a spiritual place wh…

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

Happy New Year, Vixens!

2025 is going to be a fantastic year of positive shifts and exploring more beyond our comfort zones. At least, those are some of my personal goals. To ring in the new year, however, I have selected a read that may not bring in the celebratory mood that some of you may be looking for. If that’s the case, then we’ll see you next week. However, it’s a great read to explore what it means to undergo unexpected changes, especially when regarding the loss of a loved one.

Crying in H Mart felt like a natural successor to reading The Vulnerables, as we’re dealing with profound themes of grief, loss and memory. Although both books deal with separate types of experiences, both centre around overcoming emotional hardship. If you’ve experienced some difficulties in the last year or possibly longer, then this may be the read to help close those cycles out. Crying in H Mart is a hearbreaking account of Michelle Zauner’s experience grieving the loss of her mother, which really touches on the inevitability of life.

Working through our emotions is a daunting but also powerful experience that can help us become more resilient over time. The best way to deal with anything challenging us is to face our emotions head on, experience them fully, and allow ourselves the grace of time before letting go. So having stories such as Crying in H Mart at our disposal, gives us the opportunity to not only deal with our emotions, but go through the motions of another’s experience too. It can give us the sense of acknowledgement and support in the form of media.

To purchase the book from amazon.co.uk, click the affiliate link here.

In this email we’ll cover:

• What’s New

• Reflections

• Insights

• Closing Remarks

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Book of the Week:

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Personal Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Genre:

Memoir

Synopsis:

Crying in H Mart is Michelle Zauner’s account of her mother’s passing as well as how her relationships have influenced the foundation for her Korean-American identity. The book explores themes of identity, heritage and familial relationships. It touches on the complexities of their mother-daughter relationship and how that became all the more complicated after her mother’s cancer diagnosis at a fairly young age. As the title suggests, Zauner uses food as a fundamental link to her Korean heritage, which also became the primary memories of her mother included in the book.

Why We Love It:

Sometimes we read books that account for a similar experience to us, not because we are unable to acknowledge our own, but perhaps to know that we’re connecting with someone that is going through the same thing. I find that sharing our experiences with each other is beneficial in a number of ways, even when the experiences are incredibly sad.

Representation is so important in media, and this can be in regards to a number of different things, in this case losing a parent. Media is powerful in that way, where we can share elements of our stories with each other. We can help others see different points of view, find ways to be inspired, and perhaps share beneficial information.

From reads such as this, I find that my comprehension of the circumstances strengthens. Sometimes seeing a similar situation from another person’s point of view, can help us understand different aspects of our emotions without escaping them entirely. It’s a fantastic read, regardless of whether or not you’ve dealt with grief. But I think that if you are missing someone, then finding media to engage with can ease the experience a little.

Key Message:

Addressing and managing our emotions are skills that many of us haven’t been taught. That’s not to say that emotions such as grief can be limited, but I do believe that there are elements of shame that surround freely expressing ourselves. Expressing ourselves without judgement is where the challenge lies.

That’s not to say that the author in this context falls within that description, but perhaps as readers we do. Without the understanding and blueprint for what’s considered acceptable forms of expression, it’s easy to want to disregard our emotions entirely. But grief is too demanding to be ignored.

Media such as this may give the sense of ‘permission’ to express ourselves in that regard. Especially within the context of loss. It gives us a safe space to learn about, acknowledge and move through our grief in a safe space. Which is what makes art and storytelling so important for people.

Being able to share our stories with one another gives us the context for better understanding. We can shed light in a way that helps some move through their grief, as well as prepare those who will inevitably have to deal with it later. Our stories matter for us as well as for other people, because it creates greater understanding and opens up pathways to greater forms of expression.

Quote of the Week:

“I remember these things clearly because that was how my mother loved you, not through white lies and constant verbal affirmation, but in subtle observations of what brought you joy, pocketed away to make you feel comforted and cared for without even realizing it.”

- Michelle Zauner, Crying inn H Mart

Reflection Questions:

1. In the book, Zauner expresses how food is a connection to the memory of her mother. If you were to write the story of one of your most heartbreaking experiences, what in would you connect to the memory of that heartbreak?

2. If you’ve experienced loss at a profound level, how was your experience reading this book?

3. Experiencing great loss can set us up to move through the world differently. Do you have a moment in your life where you realised that your experiences have changed you?

Author Spotlight:

Michelle Zauner

Background:

Michelle Zauner is best known as a musician under the name Japanese Breakfast. Although her music career has already garnered acclaim from several music outlets, her memoir “Crying in H MArt” has proven to be a strong work all on its own. Her memoir is raved about on social media, and showcases her multi-talented abilities as an artist.

Beyond the Book:

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Although there are many different familial formations that exist, dealing with an overwhelming sense of grief can occur when anyone that we’re close to passes away. The human experience encompasses so many different emotional facets, that sometimes when life takes us by surprise, dormant emotions suddenly get activated. These are emotions are hard to avoid and, regardless of circumstance, demand our attention.

Crying in H Mart reminds us all of the fragility of life; time isn’t guaranteed for any of us. It’s an important reminder for those of us who still have the time to spend with our loved ones that it won’t always be this way. Memoirs such as this also provide comfort for those of us who are going through a period of loss, and reminnd those of us who aren’t goinng through those same motions, to value the time that we still have. This can pertain to the loss of a loved one, or even on a more philosophical level, the loss of who we once were.

Reading this book is a reminder to connect with those we love and to also establish our own selves on more grounded footing. Although we may experience change, we will come out the other end. Although her memoir target deeply personal explorations, there are elements of positivity that can be found within these pages too. She gets to remember her mother from having written about her.

In my opinion, her account of her relationship with her mother shows how much she loved and honoured her. Now that her mother’s story has been accounted for in Crying in H Mart, despite the complexities, she gets the chance to live on forever. It’s a look into the love, conflicts, and mutual understanding between mother and daughter. This book read like a testament of love and respect for me. It is also a testament to our inner strength and our ability to see through life’s difficulties to come out the other end.

Thank you so much for reading this far! If you’ve enjoyed reading Spark Siren and you would like to share this publication with your friends, then click the “Share” button below.

Otherwise, thank you for being a part of the Spark Siren community, where we inspire impact through the power of story.

Keep living life on your terms.

Warm regards,

June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren

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Welcome to Spark Siren, where stories inspire impact ✨

What a fantastic year of reading, storytelling and connection. Stories from the female gaze have been especially present on my radar this year, and we are thriving! I’m so excited to watch as women continue to evolve in the future, especially in the creative arts.

Spark Siren aims to inspire women, however it leaves me inspired and grateful to know that I have such a diverse group of people that have connected with this page. I would like to thank each and every one of my subscribers for being on this journey with me.

This page has taken several months of planning, creativity, and care before launching. So being at this point is a special moment for me. To have you all onboard has been such a joy and has made me feel very proud.

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Reading has always been an avenue of connection for me; a way to transcend time, culture, and perspective. It’s one of the ways in which we can communicate our thoughts directly onto a page for anyone who would be interested in discovering them.

When I began reading my world creatively expanded, my understanding of culture/ society deepened, and I not only felt seen but also became aware of the perspectives of others. So with these books I’ve selected for Spark Sir en, I hope that it has helped to creatively expand, help develop understanding and connect us through an awareness of each other. Substack has created such a wonderful opportunity to connect in that way.

As 2024 is coming to a close, I just wanted to acknowledge all the great stories that we’ve had recently from the female point of view.

Whether it is film, art, literature, or music, there have been so many works that have made me personally feel seen. There’s so much positive impact for women and men when we share our stories. Creating art from the perspective of the female gaze achieves that.

So here are the stories that have impacted me:

Books I’ve Loved:

1. When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone

2. Rememberings by Sinead O’Connor

3. I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

Films I’ve Loved:

1. Nightbitch

2. The Substance

3. Woman of The Hour

Songs I’ve Loved:

1. She Swam Higher by Dani Sylvia

2. Aquamarine by Addison Rae

3. Competition (Snakeship Remix) by Amber Mark

May 2025 bring you all much joy, growth and love. I’m excited and thankful to be walking into 2025 together. ✨

With Love,

June Tara, Creator of Spark Siren

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