On Being Stuck
Siren Archives: Reading "Ripe" by Sarah Rose Etter
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After having read Adults by Emma Jane Unsworth, Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter seemed like a great successor to tie up some of the common themes. Societal expectations affect all of us, regardless of culture. Although many societies differ from one another in terms of culture and expectations, we can still determine that they impact us on an individual level. In our protagonist’s case, it’s her corporate work life that has impacted her the most.
Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter describes what Cassie’s life looks like within Western societal standards and how she feels about the overall impact of it on her life. Although there are several aspects of her life that are highlighted in the book, it ultimately all comes together in what looks like an existential crisis. In the story, Cassie describes the pressure as a lingering black hole that feeds off of her unhappiness and depression. The story starts to introduce us to all the scenarios and circumstances that add to her sense of despair, and ultimately compounds the external pressure she feels to perform.
Ripe deals with Cassie’s depression, the root cause of it, and how it becomes integrated into her life. The depression and pain is inescapable. It seems as though the pressure to conform and succeed override her desire to change her circumstances, which seems like she’s desperately trying to avoid in fear of change. However, the longer she stays in her current routine, the deeper the depression becomes. This story discusses what society expects us to conform to, as well as the impact it has on an individual such as Cassie.
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In this email we’ll cover:
What’s New
Reflections
Insights
Closing Remarks
“Maybe there must always be two of us—our real selves and the ones we create to survive in the world as it is.” - Sarah Rose Etter, Ripe
What’s New?
Book of the Week:
Ripe by Sarah Rose Etter
Personal Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Genre:
Literary Fiction
Synopsis:
Ripe follows a young woman working in the Silicon valley corporate environment. Her life seems to be everything that people would want for themselves, however Cassie’s life seems to be haunted by a metaphorical black hole, which grows and shrinks depending on her mood.
Her life is not as fulfilled as perhaps people may imagine it to be, and this is unfortunately at the forefront of Cassie’s mind. She’s living what ought to be a more fulfilling life, yet she’s consistently unhappy with the various aspects of her life.
Although she knows she is unfulfilled, she also feels trapped within her circumstances. From toxic work environments, to unfulfilling friendships, as well as a no-strings-attached relationship, Cassie questions the day-to-day of her life.
Why We Love It:
This book pick was one that I wanted to explore, albeit it is quite sad in retrospect. This book touches on the reality of what it means to maintain appearances, and how sometimes the reality of it doesn’t match up to our expectations. Much of the time we might either feel the pressure to conform to our societal standards, or simply follow the blueprint that’s set out for us, only to later realize that it feels entirely inauthentic to who we are.
Although there are several factors that seem to encourage Cassie to make shifts in her life, it’s as though she’s convinced that she needs to maintain a certain image to feel accepted. Regardless of how she’s internally processing her reality, she externally maintains the facade. There’s a consistent reference to herself as being disassociated from the reality of her life by separating herself from the “believers”. She feels as though she doesn’t belong, but feels a responsibility to ultimately still participate.
Ripe is a book that distinguishes the appearance from the reality of our choices, in Cassie’s case it’s the modern corporate life. It looks at what Cassie experiences from her honest point of view, now that the shiny appearance of it has worn off. Perhaps it feels as though it’s a discussion that is too sensitive to touch on or forbidden to acknowledge, and so the readers experience this through Cassie’s inner dialogue.
As I read it made me wonder; if we lose touch with our authenticity for now do we start to lose touch with who we are overtime?
Key Message:
This book for me helped me realize that what you don’t change is also a choice. From the moment we become aware of a problem, if we choose not to take steps in the direction of change then we are also somewhat responsible for the outcome. Reading from Cassie’s point of view made me wonder how she could stand to bear it. There’s such a distinct dissatisfaction with how her life turned out, that I unconsciously adopted similar emotions while reading.
Cassie has met everyone else’s expectations. From career responsibilities to relational obligations, she’s an active participant. However, she’s also slowly coming to realize that those same people who have laid out those standards may not even be fulfilled within their own lives either. In that regard, she is becoming more aware of how her life keeps compounding into an unfulfilled vaccum of a world. No matter what aspect of her life you look at, there is always something that seems to be missing.
Cassie is a clear example of someone who is participating in a life that isn’t what she thought it would be. There are several factors that establish that opinion for her, including late stage capitalism. However, she’s also in a position to make those shifts - if not financially, then personally. For example, it’s clear from the book that her relationships aren’t fulfilling, but she chooses to maintain them regardless. At that point, it becomes her personal responsibility to account for the outcome.
Overall, we cannot limit ourselves to the choices of our past simply because we have already decided on a certain trajectory. Sometimes change is necessary to establish ourselves on more secure footing. There are so many examples of people out there who have made changes when they felt something wasn’t right. Although it may have taken time and resources to accomplish it, where there is intention there is possibility. I do believe in that. Some situations may be more circumstantial than others, but how we respond is also equally influential.
Reflections
Quote of the Week:
"You wake up one day and realise what you've become, what you allow, and you have to stare down into the pit at yourself, at your own choices, at the ways in which you have been cunning and stupid and false and wretched to keep up with the world around you. How does anyone bear themselves?"
- Sarah Rose Etter, Ripe
Reflection Questions:
Are there other societal expectations that you have personally experienced that may pressurize people into conforming to a certain standard?
If you were put in a situation that evoked similar emotions to the protagonist, how would you approach the a situation? Consider the barriers you might have as well.
How do we distinguish between having standards that foster a sense of community and setting expectations that ultimately compromise our autonomy?
How would you distinguish what feels authentic to you versus cultural conditioning?
Book Review:
A further deep dive into the book by Books That Slay.
Insights
Author Spotlight:
Sarah Rose Etter
Background:
Sarah rose Etter is an American fiction author who experiments in her writing. Her writing often incorporates themes that look into ‘the absurdities of modern life.’ Her writing can also be found in the form of essays which have been publishedin media outlets such as Time, Guernica, BOMB, The Benington Review, The Cut, and VICE.
Other Works:
The Book of X (2019)
Tongue Party (2010)
Beyond the Book:
Closing Remarks
This book explores that it means to feel trapped in an ongoing cycle of existentialism. It also, in a less obvious way though, tells us what it feels like when we succumb to our circumstances and resist actively exploring ways to be more aligned with who we are. Cassie’s circumstances, however much they may showcase success to the world, doesn’t fit into her own definition of happiness. It makes me wonder if she’s so used to feeling this that she doesn’t believe that this is just how life is.
This story shows readers that what you tolerate becomes the new standard by which you live your life. For example, there are several aspects of Cassie’s life that are unfulfilling, setting the overall standard across the board. Including her romantic relationship and friendships. It seems that her overall standard for her life has been compromised, simply by not seeking out better to begin with. It is almost as though she’s never fully invested in any part of her life, despite the depression it incites.
Although she’s presenting herself as fully present and in control, below the surface she’s disassociated from her reality. She chooses not to shift away or make the necessary changes to help relieve some of that pressure and disatisfaction. Which ulitmately makes her responsible for her own reality. Essentially, what you don’t change is also a choice. When you’re actively making the choice to stay where you are, knowing that something isn’t a right fit, you’re making the choice to maintain that trajectory.
Having read this book, there were very few times when I felt that the character surrendered to her emotions. Perhaps the dissatisfaction is too confrontational to experience time and again. Or perhaps she’s become numb to the emotional cycles that it’s part of her norm. However, as a reader I think she prevented herself from experiencing her emotions fully intentionally. Emotions, although overwhelming at times, give us information on how we’re processing our lives. They can give us information to know when we’re aligned. It’s a stark reminder of what it means to choose to remain in a place we know we don’t belong.
Until Next Time!
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Keep living life on your terms.
June Tara
Creator of Spark Siren